DungeonPlace Podcast Episode 14: 24/7, Kids and the Luna Interview!
FetishCast
Children in a Kinky household – Where is the line between “safe” and “dangerous” exposure when it comes to 24/7 relationships?
Interview with Luna from Submissiveguide.com
Panel:
Tutivillus, DarlingEvil, Goddess, Gamer, Meow.
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[...] of Submissive Guide. It’s all there.Hop on over and listen, and please please leave comments!Dungeon Place Podcast about 24/7 with Kids, and my interview! Leave a CommentFiled under Webmaster NotesTags: Copyright © Submissive Guide. 2008-2009. All [...]
Right, here I am and I bring my opinions!
On the topic of kids, I have none myself yet so this is based on my experience as a child, and my mum and I were very open about sex from a really early age. I never heard her having sex but we talked about masturbation, she bought me my first vibrator at 15, and now we discuss my lifestyle. She isn't kinky but is convinced that she has missed out! In my personal opinion the fact that we're so open has made my sex life a lot easier, where my other friends (even my Master) are very awkward talking with their parents about sex or asking advice, I just come right out with it, as a result I consider myself fairly well informed about sex and have made a point of seeking out information that my mum couldn't give me (eg. kinky stuff!) and knowledge is always a good thing!
On the subject of nakedness around kids, while my mum never walked around the house naked, she often left their door ajar when she was getting dressed and I would walk in and chat or borrow stuff from her, etc and it was never a problem. Even now when she comes to stay with us she will be drying herself with the door open or nip back to the bathroom with nothing on having forgotten something. In my opinion, not a problem. Having said that both my Dad and step-dad were both much more prude and I don't recall ever seeing bottomless, topless yes, but always with boxers on, and possibly as a result of that, or possibly just 'cos I'm odd, I find it weird when men are bottomless.
Basically I'm all about being open with kids.
Thank you for sharing that!
I can share some thoughts on the Step-Dad / nudity front. Don't. In the
States, there are a LOT of legal issues there and it's just an easy way to
lose custody or just create drama within the family. Shirtless? Sure. Nude,
never.
Awesome! Thank you.
Hello, first of all, I'm sorry if I'm not logged in but it seems that the openid login option doesn't really work.
I'm an italian listener of this podcast (very interesting, btw) and, although I'm quite new to the scene, I wanted to add a pointer to the discussion of this episode of DP.
In my humble opinion, when talking about kids and bdsm you more or less missed the main subject: kids and sex.
That is what this is mostly about and in this respect bdsm can be seen as only another form of sex, not different from gay or lesbian sex.
I mean, kids of a gay father are going to be inevitably exposed to some of the most apparent effect of their dad's sexuality: mainly the fact that his life partner is another man, and that is bound to raise question. The same goes for lesbian mothers.
In both cases, whether such a parent discovered his/her orientation after a divorce or if the child was conceived in an alternative family from the start, that doesn't really matter.
The children are going to ask questions because that's what they do, they learn what the world is about by observing and they are always incredibly perceptive, especially when it's about their parents, that at least until teenage are their main “representatives” of the World and the Truth.
So, there's not going around it: they are going to ask and we need to be prepared not only to answer to their satisfaction but also to give them good information before bad one could reach them from friends at school, bigot tv shows and all the crap that goes around the media zoo these days. Especially if our lifestyle is somehow leaky in its manifestation: I wouldn't want our daughter to think that I'm abusing her mother because she (i.e.) wears a leather bracelet and serves me first.
Because that girl is going to note all those things, sooner or later. Or note that things are different elsewhere, being at a friend's home or in a tv show.
Now, the one book I have on this subject is completely kink-unaware and steers explicitly free of any homosexual consideration, mainly because it's aim is to catch the most wide audience possible. The book is:
Sharon Maxwell, “The Talk: What Your Kids Need to Hear from You About Sex”
http://www.amazon.com/Talk-What-Your-Kids-About...
or
http://tinyurl.com/yk2zt8u
Dr. Maxwell is a clinical psychologist and she talks how she coped with her 7 year old boy asking her what “a stripper and a hooker” were. She is quite adamant in affirming that she wants to be the one her son and daughter get to hear about sex from, since most of the other sources are not realiable or simply not interested in her children's welfare.
I'm stopping here before writing a whole essay.
Thanks for a very interesting show and bye.
Aureliano
sirspank77@gmail.com
http://fetlife.com/users/305327
SirSpank,
Thanks for the comment and welcome! Italy…wow, I love hearing from our
International listeners.
I thought we addressed the issues of talking with our kids. If we didn't,
let me emphasize *how strongly I AGREE with your argument!!*
You are correct. We need to discuss the varied aspects of sexuality with our
children in appropriate steps as they mature. Our 16 year-old daughter has
reached the point where she can ask (and receive answers) about anything
sexual. The exception to that would be the most personal items that are none
of her business (e.g. “Dad, do you have a big cock”…that's out of bounds.)
Our younger child? Well, the answers wouldn't be so in-depth or graphic
simply because she would probably just get bored and want to talk about the
cat…seriously. However, if situations arise (and they do) that ask for
deeper conversations? Boom! It's our responsibility to address the topic.
We see a lot of difference between the American puritan views of sexuality
vs. many of the more open world views. It simply makes me laugh…America
just needs to grow up. We like watching it, but we don't like talking about
it.
Thank you! Please feel free to comment more often and tell your friends
about us!
-Tutivillus
No worries, I'm all about the opinions, plenty to go around!
Was very
listening to the part about divorce, etc, but I am totally in the “I'd never do that and we'll never get a divorce” stage and while I know it's over romanticised and possibly a risky way to go into a relationship I wouldn't want to go in thinking “it doesn't matter if anything goes wrong because we can divorce and the prenup will sort it” or something. Having said that I haven't been burned by a bad marriage or painful divorce, so only time will tell.
I have no idea what the laws are in the UK when it comes to nudity around children, although I think they are a lot tighter now then when I was a kid.
Ahh. Yeah.
Divorce is like unexpected death. It's never something you want to have
happen, but something you should always have a contingency for. From
Pre-Nuptuals (especially if there's pre-marriage property, money, etc.) to
online materials (photos, videos, websites, etc.). It's always good to have
the conversation and even a written contract (signed and witnessed by a
legally recognized official) specifying an agreement and decisions regarding
anything you wish to protect in that “Worst Case Scenario”.
When it comes right down to it, Marriage and relationships are a business.
You are all involved in a corporation. Protect your assets, then enjoy the
hell out of its benefits. But be very realistic about Life, Plans and the
chaotic Chemistry that occurs when you start mixing the two.
Excellent comment!
Hello, first of all, I'm sorry if I'm not logged in but it seems that the openid login option doesn't really work.
I'm an italian listener of this podcast (very interesting, btw) and, although I'm quite new to the scene, I wanted to add a pointer to the discussion of this episode of DP.
In my humble opinion, when talking about kids and bdsm you more or less missed the main subject: kids and sex.
That is what this is mostly about and in this respect bdsm can be seen as only another form of sex, not different from gay or lesbian sex.
I mean, kids of a gay father are going to be inevitably exposed to some of the most apparent effect of their dad's sexuality: mainly the fact that his life partner is another man, and that is bound to raise question. The same goes for lesbian mothers.
In both cases, whether such a parent discovered his/her orientation after a divorce or if the child was conceived in an alternative family from the start, that doesn't really matter.
The children are going to ask questions because that's what they do, they learn what the world is about by observing and they are always incredibly perceptive, especially when it's about their parents, that at least until teenage are their main “representatives” of the World and the Truth.
So, there's not going around it: they are going to ask and we need to be prepared not only to answer to their satisfaction but also to give them good information before bad one could reach them from friends at school, bigot tv shows and all the crap that goes around the media zoo these days. Especially if our lifestyle is somehow leaky in its manifestation: I wouldn't want our daughter to think that I'm abusing her mother because she (i.e.) wears a leather bracelet and serves me first.
Because that girl is going to note all those things, sooner or later. Or note that things are different elsewhere, being at a friend's home or in a tv show.
Now, the one book I have on this subject is completely kink-unaware and steers explicitly free of any homosexual consideration, mainly because it's aim is to catch the most wide audience possible. The book is:
Sharon Maxwell, “The Talk: What Your Kids Need to Hear from You About Sex”
http://www.amazon.com/Talk-What-Your-Kids-About...
or
http://tinyurl.com/yk2zt8u
Dr. Maxwell is a clinical psychologist and she talks how she coped with her 7 year old boy asking her what “a stripper and a hooker” were. She is quite adamant in affirming that she wants to be the one her son and daughter get to hear about sex from, since most of the other sources are not realiable or simply not interested in her children's welfare.
I'm stopping here before writing a whole essay.
Thanks for a very interesting show and bye.
Aureliano
sirspank77@gmail.com
http://fetlife.com/users/305327
SirSpank,
Thanks for the comment and welcome! Italy…wow, I love hearing from our
International listeners.
I thought we addressed the issues of talking with our kids. If we didn't,
let me emphasize *how strongly I AGREE with your argument!!*
You are correct. We need to discuss the varied aspects of sexuality with our
children in appropriate steps as they mature. Our 16 year-old daughter has
reached the point where she can ask (and receive answers) about anything
sexual. The exception to that would be the most personal items that are none
of her business (e.g. “Dad, do you have a big cock”…that's out of bounds.)
Our younger child? Well, the answers wouldn't be so in-depth or graphic
simply because she would probably just get bored and want to talk about the
cat…seriously. However, if situations arise (and they do) that ask for
deeper conversations? Boom! It's our responsibility to address the topic.
We see a lot of difference between the American puritan views of sexuality
vs. many of the more open world views. It simply makes me laugh…America
just needs to grow up. We like watching it, but we don't like talking about
it.
Thank you! Please feel free to comment more often and tell your friends
about us!
-Tutivillus
No worries, I'm all about the opinions, plenty to go around!
Was very
listening to the part about divorce, etc, but I am totally in the “I'd never do that and we'll never get a divorce” stage and while I know it's over romanticised and possibly a risky way to go into a relationship I wouldn't want to go in thinking “it doesn't matter if anything goes wrong because we can divorce and the prenup will sort it” or something. Having said that I haven't been burned by a bad marriage or painful divorce, so only time will tell.
I have no idea what the laws are in the UK when it comes to nudity around children, although I think they are a lot tighter now then when I was a kid.
Ahh. Yeah.
Divorce is like unexpected death. It's never something you want to have
happen, but something you should always have a contingency for. From
Pre-Nuptuals (especially if there's pre-marriage property, money, etc.) to
online materials (photos, videos, websites, etc.). It's always good to have
the conversation and even a written contract (signed and witnessed by a
legally recognized official) specifying an agreement and decisions regarding
anything you wish to protect in that “Worst Case Scenario”.
When it comes right down to it, Marriage and relationships are a business.
You are all involved in a corporation. Protect your assets, then enjoy the
hell out of its benefits. But be very realistic about Life, Plans and the
chaotic Chemistry that occurs when you start mixing the two.
Excellent comment!