How to Thaw the Kink Freeze
Have you heard of "The Seattle Freeze"? The "Kink Freeze"? That cliquish lockout in the kink community where newcomers have to bang up hard against a wall of silence until they gain acceptance by their local community?
Sound familiar? Yes. It exists. Want to know how to thaw it? For experienced, vetted members of a community – take the time to reach out to the newcomers! Be welcoming, talk to them and listen to them. For newcomers, don't be shy. Participate in local munches, ask questions and introduce yourself! Don't be overbearing, you're new, you will need to earn a certain amount of trust. But it will certainly take less time if people know *who you are* than it will if you're just a face in the crowd. It really is that simple. Also, never be afraid and intimidated to ask someone to play, no matter who they are, what they look like or their stature. Be respectful, be confident! You will regret it if you have an opportunity but don't take it (trust me on this!) Voila!
