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©Tutivillus Sadist Podcast

The podcast episode where Tutivillus discusses sadism, pain, pain sluts, PETA and Tofu Frogs.

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Tags: sadist, sadism, podcast, bdsm, fetish, kinky, kink, pain, pain sluts, peta, tofu frog

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It has been a little over a year that I began my journey into the realm of BDSM. I have been noticing lately some interesting conversations on various message boards that have me reflecting upon my past and current experiences. One question in particular struck a chord for me: “Am I really a pain slut?” I can certainly empathize with the confusion that was expressed in that particular post. I remember clearly when I was first confronted with what was to my mind an unacceptable part of my nature. Tutivillus had just administered my first real beating which I admitted at the time I enjoyed immensely. It confused me greatly how good it felt to be hurt. When we first negotiated the scene, I was intrigued by the bondage and only mildly curious about the pain. It took me by surprise how turned on I was to his hand and paddle striking my bared bottom. With each ‘whack’ I became more in tune to not only Tutivillus but to my own body, my own mind and my own heart. It took me several days to come to peace with the possibility that I was a lover of pain. I was as yet unconvinced that it was indeed a reality.

During these past twelve months, I continued exploring the darker side of myself. I have always known I adored bondage and rope, but learning about pain took a great deal of courage as well as a level of self-acceptance. Not one to shrink from self-discovery I began experimenting with different types of pain and sensation play. I discovered that I enjoyed the ‘whack’ of a paddle very much, but the sting of a single tail, left me a whimpering coward. I learned that I adore the bite of clothes pins and nipple clamps and even more so to have them ripped off me. As I began to reconcile the societal conditioning that “pain = bad”, I gave my self permission to enjoy all of the sensations that my Dom offered me. As I embraced, the pain I discovered the new heights that I could be taken to sexually. I look forward to the feel of my Dom’s hand whether he gives me pleasure or pain. I crave the touch of his paddle, the feel of his clamps on my breasts, his teeth biting, the ropes burning my wrists. The pain contrasts and heightens the pleasure he gives. The administering of pain has forged a bond of trust with my Dom, that I didn’t realize could exist between two people. Now a year later, I am no longer conflicted but fully accept who and what I am. I am a pain slut and I revel in the knowledge.

After watching a scene, a friend of mine was putting her “toys” back into her box.  There they were… a pair of Leg Irons. My feet shot out, my mouth salivated, my pulse raced. They were a birthday present from her husband. She grinned ear to ear and was all to happy to accommodate my wish. She then realized her matching wrist irons were in the car! 5 minutes later I was “in irons”, and in my mind, my own personal slice of submissive heaven. As I moved around the party, socialized and smoked, I could not help but grin ear to ear. Feeling the cold chains on my skin refreshing. Being teased, touched, and paddled a few times playfully. Is this what it feels like to “play” at a party? Why in the hell has it taken me so long? This was my 5th event, and I must say it was a night full of “Firsts” for this cat.

3 hours later, the irons were removed. I sat and pondered, as I watched a suspension scene, a flogging scene, fellow party goers showing off their toys, what am I to do next?  Flogging? No, not yet. Rope? Nah, don’t have the guts to ask. Then I saw her… another friend of mine, who is well known for her imagination, sadistic streak and skill with needle play. She had this surgical stapler in her toy box, that I have been curious as hell about, but afraid to try.  So I asked her, and she just grinned her beautiful hazel eyed smile.

Needless to say, I ended the evening with 16 staples and pretty yellow ribbon. I was pleasantly surprised, and loved the sensation. (especially one in each nipple allowing for my tassels) I left the staples & ribbon in for about an hour or more as I moved around the party. Relishing in each of my movements, as they tugged, pulled and strained my skin.

I am in no way a “pain slut” but this sensation and feeling of Saturday evening are ones that I will not soon forget. For those that know me, they know it was a big step for me. I gleefully claim that I crave more of these “sensations” as I move down this path. It makes me think and ponder this one question “Why did I wait so long?”

More to come for sure….

Meow

You’ve probably seen this article already in Scientific American – “Why the #$%! Do We Swear? For Pain Relief“. It’s somewhat common sense to us Kinky folk.

So, to put this in real world use, look at the Pain Sluts you know. Do they swear during scenes? Most that I know have some form of verbal/vocal release (I don’t think swearing is the key, I believe the Release is the key).

Have you noticed this? The release increases pain tolerance?

Sound Off!

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thigh zipper

It was her first zipper.

She took it well.

I made her count each bite as I ran the clips up one thigh and down the other. Her breath would catch with each new nibble as the count rose about 15.

Two strings. Two thighs. They reminded me of strings of firecrackers with pink fuses. Perhaps the snap, the sharp noises as I tore them up and off her sensitive flesh? Maybe the anticipated, ever so shocked delayed reaction a sub has when the zipper is pulled? Or it could just be that’s how they looked as I stood above the bed giving instruction, explaining the countdown, preparing her for the

PULL! – !SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!

Eyes-wide-gasp, fingers splayed wide and mouth collapsed into alphabetic shock.

“Son-of-a-BITCH!” She moans, pulling fetal. Mouth and eyes close. Everything about her becomes a tiny ball.

I caress her, comfort her with soft words and wicked laughs.

I am very pleased.

“What happened to the countdown Sir?” She manages after a few seconds.

I shrug. Not bothering to answer.

“Want another?”

“Oh yes, please Sir.”

Noddy was still in subspace, but was more than happy to give support to Sis and myself.

I laid on my stomach and offered up my canvas. Tutivillus paused and stroked my naked flesh. He whispered in my ear to hold very still.

I groaned..feeling the arousing sting. It was better than I remembered.

The next time was with a group and a planned activity–but aren’t those times just the best?! We were at another couple’s home with a friend and comparing bags of BDSM evil. The Doms were pulling out all the toys, implements of exquisite torture and consequently…knives.

Our friend, Noddy, was on her hands and knees when she felt the blade for the first time. Tutivillus advised her not to move. She let out a moan as he cut her down the spine.

He cut her again–this time across and then wiped her off with Clorox.

Yes..Clorox wipes open the capillaries and allow more blood to flow to the cut (plus there is a nice sting).

Noddy was surprised by her reaction and you could see the cloudiness of sub heaven come over her eyes. She said she “liked it a bit too much “.

To be continued…..

Knives.

Cutting.

Blood.

I was cut for the first time down between my breasts. I gasped and willed myself not to move. The second time, I was unable to move–i was spread eagle and tied to the bed. He slashed both thighs as he made me cum with a vibe.

Next time, we were with a group…….

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“Take off your panties.” I ordered.

There was a moment’s hesitation. I stepped forward.

“Do it Now.”

T stripped off her thong, standing naked before DE, the camera and me.

More flashes from the camera as DE captured her exposed body. I guided her to the chair, instructed her to kneel — facing the back, ass facing us. Grabbing her by the ankles, I spread T’s legs and began a slow, steady series of open-handed blows on her bare ass.

Flogging T

After the red began to show on her white flesh I took up the flogger. Soft, slow sweeps across her shoulders and down to her ass brought moans. Intensity increased. Faster, harder, louder. DE maneuvered through the blows and captured the scene. T’s skin reddened. Loud smacks from the flogger were traded with sharp cracks as I brought in the paddles. Welts and bruises began to form. T groaned, moaned…eyes closed, falling into sub-space.

Raven

It was time for her to stand. A test was in order.

We have a slapper with a tapered handled. I slipped a condom over the handle and slid it into T’s soaked pussy.

The test

“Do not! Let that slapper fall. Hold it or you WILL be punished.” I said evenly. “Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir” she said, voice wavering.

The flogger landed hard. T’s hair flew as the falls reddened her shoulders. She cried out as side-sweeps marked her ass. The slapper began to slip. I grabbed her hair and spanked, hard.

DE’s camera caught the slapper falling to the floor.

I pushed T, kneeling, onto the chair again.

“You let it fall. Now you have to be punished!”

She was chanting “no” as I grabbed the hairbrush paddle and gave T a solid beating. She reached back to stop it and I pinned her hands, still swinging the paddle. Tears flowed.

Wet

After a few minutes I held her. Reassured her. De came forward and embraced her. Together we took her to the bed and blindfolded her, bound her hands.

She almost came as we teased her breast, nipples and clit…but that release was denied. I asked her if she wanted to come. She replied with a near breathless “yes”.

Happy T

DE handed me a small, spiked barrel roller which I began to tease around her swollen, wet pussy. T arched, squirmed, moaned loudly as the roller’s spikes pressed down on her exposed clit. I slid a finger into her and slowly worked it against her rhythmic motion. On the edge of orgasm, fingers rubbing her clit, I leaned close.

The mower

“Don’t come T.”

She grunted loudly, shifting into a low guttural moan that drew on for long seconds.

“Please.Sir” Gasps between moans.

“No.”

DE handed me the Eroscillator. I switched it on to the medium setting, pulled the hood back from her clit and pressed the knobby head of the toy down.

“Come” I whispered.

T exploded in a loud, shuddering groan.

We played for another hour after that, the three of us…but little of it had to do with Dominance or submission. It was about fucking, exploring and establishing our relationship.

Is this a scene I would recommend to anyone else? Hell no! DE is a very unique partner, T is a very unique and respectful Ex. This type of play is an Edge that would destroy many relationships.

For us it made for wonderful play.

Aftermath

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-Tutivillus

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A few toys

DarlingEvil and I arrived, checked in and moved quickly. We made a few drinks, placed toys, set a radio by the door (a fairly critical component when playing at a hotel, mind you). With everything prepared, we sat, talked strategy, checked-in with each other and chatted about our day.

My phone rang signaling T’s arrival. I led her into the hotel and our room. Her eyes glanced from lamp to table — slightly nervous at the sight of what awaited her.

DE handed her a drink. We talked for a few minutes. She stood.

“Are you ready?” I asked.

“Yes” T replied.

I smiled, reached behind her, slid my hand through her hair and took a handful.

“What?” I asked.

“Yes Sir.”

Undressing T

DE had wanted to observe this scene…document it in pictures. She wanted to watch me Dominate a sub and T was an ideal sub for this type of scene. She had knowledge of protocol, attitude, the ability to take almost anything and Trust.

Despite all this, she admitted later her Flight response nearly kicked in.

I began to undress her — removing her shirt, laying her on the bed and pulling off her pants. I left her exposed in only a tiny thong as DE maneuvered with the camera…flash blazing.

Collaring T

T stood on command when I pulled a small training collar from its resting place. When I tightened it on her neck she made a quiet sigh. I stood, holding her by the hair and posed her for DE and the camera.

T figeted nervously…nude exposure was a weakness to exploit.

“Stand. Do not move” I ordered.

Scratch the flesh

I turned her to face the bed, kneeled behind her…ran my nails down her back, over her ass and inside her thighs. T marks well. The scratches glared and I turned her again and scratched her breasts, her stomach.

She moaned as I stood behind her, pulled her roughly into me.

Warming the submissive

I covered T’s mouth, took a nipple between my fingers and rolled it, pinched then pulled. They were hard. With T, the nipples are an erotic switch. Activate the switch correctly and you wake the machine.

Her body began to soften. Her breath was signaling a readiness for the next stage.

A chair was nearby…I decided it was time to play.

Visit other great Fetish and Kink sites at ABH!

-Tutivillus