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©Tutivillus Sadist Podcast

The podcast episode where Tutivillus discusses sadism, pain, pain sluts, PETA and Tofu Frogs.

Visit other great Fetish and Kink sites at ABH!

Tags: sadist, sadism, podcast, bdsm, fetish, kinky, kink, pain, pain sluts, peta, tofu frog

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Gamer's Tools

It has been a little over a year that I began my journey into the realm of BDSM. I have been noticing lately some interesting conversations on various message boards that have me reflecting upon my past and current experiences. One question in particular struck a chord for me: “Am I really a pain slut?” I can certainly empathize with the confusion that was expressed in that particular post. I remember clearly when I was first confronted with what was to my mind an unacceptable part of my nature. Tutivillus had just administered my first real beating which I admitted at the time I enjoyed immensely. It confused me greatly how good it felt to be hurt. When we first negotiated the scene, I was intrigued by the bondage and only mildly curious about the pain. It took me by surprise how turned on I was to his hand and paddle striking my bared bottom. With each ‘whack’ I became more in tune to not only Tutivillus but to my own body, my own mind and my own heart. It took me several days to come to peace with the possibility that I was a lover of pain. I was as yet unconvinced that it was indeed a reality.

During these past twelve months, I continued exploring the darker side of myself. I have always known I adored bondage and rope, but learning about pain took a great deal of courage as well as a level of self-acceptance. Not one to shrink from self-discovery I began experimenting with different types of pain and sensation play. I discovered that I enjoyed the ‘whack’ of a paddle very much, but the sting of a single tail, left me a whimpering coward. I learned that I adore the bite of clothes pins and nipple clamps and even more so to have them ripped off me. As I began to reconcile the societal conditioning that “pain = bad”, I gave my self permission to enjoy all of the sensations that my Dom offered me. As I embraced, the pain I discovered the new heights that I could be taken to sexually. I look forward to the feel of my Dom’s hand whether he gives me pleasure or pain. I crave the touch of his paddle, the feel of his clamps on my breasts, his teeth biting, the ropes burning my wrists. The pain contrasts and heightens the pleasure he gives. The administering of pain has forged a bond of trust with my Dom, that I didn’t realize could exist between two people. Now a year later, I am no longer conflicted but fully accept who and what I am. I am a pain slut and I revel in the knowledge.

©Tutivillus Sadist Podcast

Tutivillus recounts a scene where he may have gone a little too far…and risked grievous personal injury at the hands of a violated vegetarian in a coffin.

(Humor! Tutivillus plays safely and respects limits)

Visit other great Fetish and Kink sites at ABH!

Tags: sadist, podcast, bdsm, sadism, kinky, fetish, vegetarian, coffin, bondage, torture, restraint, screams, meat, balls, ass, tazer, shock, play party, play, lee harrington

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©Tutivillus Sadist Podcast

Where Tutivillus discusses the finer points of laughter, tickling, how to avoid injury and his partner’s sensitivity to fingertips.

Enjoy!

Oh…and a special guest appearance by a buzzy friend!

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©Tutivillus Sadist Podcast

I wander fondly through the memory of a lost toy named ‘Lil-Fucker. Happily I have some good news to report!

-Tutivillus

Tags: sadist,sadism,electricity,magneto,electrical play,binding,screams,needles,pain,happiness,toys

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I love Zippers. I’ve written about them before and have done a few photo shoots with Zipper scenes.

The process, to me, is similar to Shibari.

Concentration, instruction, planning, the correct tools, the right submissive…all things and people in their place at the right time.

Now I’m wanting to expand that, make it something more…take it to another place.

Multi-body Zipper

The mechanics are still in the works, but the thought is solid.

I want many minions, many clips, many feet of cord…and eventually? Many screams.

It WILL be glorious!

Each one of us has the memory of that first moment. The very transition that turned us out and into a world of twist. As I’ve gotten older years blur, but there are key memories that stand alone. This is one of them…the moment I realized I was a bit different.

Bald and Evil

I’ve always had a love of whips — using them. I have been a sadist since my first memories. For instance, my parents have a photo of me sitting next to a girl my age. Well, were barly able to sit on our own…so I guess that dates me to an age of around 1’sh.

In this picture I’m crying, the girl is laughing. The next picture (taken a few seconds later) shows me leaning over and biting her arm.

The third picture in the series shows me with a huge beaming smile…and the girl is crying.

It was good times.

The first real moment I realized I was a kinky lil’ fucker came at age 15. I had a girlfriend who was 17.  She knew things no one at that age should ever know! To this day I’m still a little mixed on what happened in those few on/off months. I learned much, experienced much and don’t regret the path on which that relationship left me.

The first time she asked me to tie her up left me in a trembling state. I was nervous, fumbling and excited. Every knot I’d ever learned in the boy scouts evaporated and have never returned.

My first marriage involved certain bits of kink, but nothing extraordinary.

My second marriage saw me transition into a full Dom.

Now? Well now…I’m here and enjoying everything that’s stuck into me over the years.

No regrets.

Anyone out there want to sound off and spill their “bdsm realization”?