DungeonPlace.com

FetishCast

Topic 1: From Princess_L (tweet): Long distance kink? She lives in the UK and he lives in Mexico.Suggestions?

Topic 2: How far is too far?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/13/scotus.sex.trafficking/index.html

http://www.villagevoice.com/2007-03-13/columns/whip-appealed/

http://business.avn.com/articles/5039.html

Topic 3: (Goddess) FROM A LISTENER: “I listen to the dungeon place podcast and think it’s great. I saw in your profile that you are independent and have to deal with that as sub. I wanted to know how you dealt with and if it helps you to be a better sub? I want to work on this cuz it’s one thing I’m dealing with and so is my partner.”

Kinky word of the day: shokushu goukan (Tentacle Rape)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tentacle_rape

http://www.sfbg.com/entry.php?entry_id=8206

http://www.amazines.com/Tentacle_rape_related.html

And the Soda! (Tentacle Grape!) http://www.tentaclegrape.com/

Shokushu Goukan

Site of the day: Found this when I researching weird fetishes http://www.cakefarts.com/

Panel: Tutivillus, DarlingEvil, Aaron, ObedientLover, Gamer Uk, ScarlettEden, Danny_Jo

Tags: podcast, bdsm, fetish, kink, kinky,tentacle rape, long distance, gorean, crime, supreme court, tentacle grape, sub, submissive, dom, dominant, shokushu goukan, cake farts, sadist, fetishcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Creative Commons License photo credit: Masked Malayan

(Yes…I’m on a gas mask kick)

Terror Play.

If ever you plan on opening this door, remember that it starts during your initial negotiations with the sub/slave/etc.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.

I am a careful negotiator and I take my time. I use notebooks to document the conversation.

Likes, dislikes, limits (soft and hard), reactions…and that’s where the key to Terror Play lies.

You can learn more about a submissive by their reactions to a subject than you can by their words. If their skin flushes, their pupils react, their fingers twitch? If their bodies react involuntarily? You know you have something.

I write that down and mark it. After a few minutes I re-visit, gently probe that subject. I put a “T” next to it if there’s a possibility of Terror Play.

Later, if TP never pops on the Hard Limit list and isn’t a non-negotiated Soft Limit?

WHAM…that list comes out to play.

Just a little something for your Tuesday reading.

Thoughts? Sound off.

After watching a scene, a friend of mine was putting her “toys” back into her box.  There they were… a pair of Leg Irons. My feet shot out, my mouth salivated, my pulse raced. They were a birthday present from her husband. She grinned ear to ear and was all to happy to accommodate my wish. She then realized her matching wrist irons were in the car! 5 minutes later I was “in irons”, and in my mind, my own personal slice of submissive heaven. As I moved around the party, socialized and smoked, I could not help but grin ear to ear. Feeling the cold chains on my skin refreshing. Being teased, touched, and paddled a few times playfully. Is this what it feels like to “play” at a party? Why in the hell has it taken me so long? This was my 5th event, and I must say it was a night full of “Firsts” for this cat.

3 hours later, the irons were removed. I sat and pondered, as I watched a suspension scene, a flogging scene, fellow party goers showing off their toys, what am I to do next?  Flogging? No, not yet. Rope? Nah, don’t have the guts to ask. Then I saw her… another friend of mine, who is well known for her imagination, sadistic streak and skill with needle play. She had this surgical stapler in her toy box, that I have been curious as hell about, but afraid to try.  So I asked her, and she just grinned her beautiful hazel eyed smile.

Needless to say, I ended the evening with 16 staples and pretty yellow ribbon. I was pleasantly surprised, and loved the sensation. (especially one in each nipple allowing for my tassels) I left the staples & ribbon in for about an hour or more as I moved around the party. Relishing in each of my movements, as they tugged, pulled and strained my skin.

I am in no way a “pain slut” but this sensation and feeling of Saturday evening are ones that I will not soon forget. For those that know me, they know it was a big step for me. I gleefully claim that I crave more of these “sensations” as I move down this path. It makes me think and ponder this one question “Why did I wait so long?”

More to come for sure….

Meow

Photo by Redessie

DE let it be known that it was time for me to assert some authority. To answer that challenge I worked with my friend MindnBody to create the first set (in a long line) of rules DE will follow as my collared submissive/girl.

1.    Girl must trim pubic areas and shave below the neck (armpits, legs).
2.    Girl must wear a service collar at all times, unless taking a shower or otherwise directed.
3.    Girl must address all Masters/Mistresses as Sir or Ma’am, unless otherwise directed. It is best to ask prior to using a title.
4.    Girl must show respect at all times, both in action and verbally.
5.    Girl will always be honest, and answer any questions put before her as thoroughly as possible.
6.    Girl may not touch herself in a sexual manner without permission.
7.    Girl may not achieve orgasm without permission.
8.    All orders must be carried out in a timely manner.
9.    Girl will eat after I am served.
10.    Girl must ask to go to the bathroom.

DE was very resistant to Rule number 10, but eventually agreed. This is simply the first set to get her started…there are others coming.

And of course, there are tasks…stay tuned.

-Tutivillus

This is work. This is hard work.

I have a good friend. He has 2 girls. It is becoming routine for he and I to bounce questions, ideas, thoughts and general philosophies off of each other. In short, we’ve become a 2 man support team. He watches me, I watch him. We give each other advice and encouragement. What I’ve learned over the years (and what had held me back) was the simple fact that the D/s, D/g, BDSM relationships were not easy.

They are the most complex relationships I’ve entered into. I wouldn’t call them “difficult” (they’re only as difficult as we make them), but they are challenging. In turn they are endlessly rewarding. They aren’t a “Feast of Sex”. They aren’t a chorus of screams and torture.

I believe they are this (for all parties):

A constant journey of sacrifice, surrender, release, discovery and love.

I am pleased beyond any words I can place on these pages to be sharing this journey with my DE and my girl and all of you.

No. It’s not easy. But it sure as hell isn’t difficult.

Liars and Cheats

Old, old story. And for me, an old comedy.

Man (or woman) Wants. They do not Get in their current relationship. Rather than being honest about it, they take off into that shadow place we know as “Lie”.

I’ve been a victim of this. It was a serious, serious hot spot for me for a long time. Now, it’s just something I get a laugh out of.  I was a serious cheat in my Teen years. Once I got engaged, I took the commitment very seriously. Even in an Open Relationship I take it seriously. DE knows everyone I talk to, approach and have any kind of relationship.

Unfortunately, not many are brave enough to take the path of honesty here. Or they use the term “Open Relationship” as an excuse to behave badly. Lately I’ve spoken with several subs in the area who are being approached by a Dom I know is married and who’s spouse, family, etc. have no idea what he’s up to.

I could “Out” him, but it’s not my place to judge. It is up to the Negotiation Process to ferret out the situation. Besides, it’s really none of my damn business! Would I do it? Hell no! Would I get involved with someone in this situation? I tend to say “NO!”…simply because I don’t want the personal drama.

However (yes…here comes the caveat) if it came down to a strict Use/use relationship? Who knows. It would be something I would definitely let DE know about and weigh her advice.

No, I don’t like seeing my friends, subs, etc. getting hurt or into situations with Liars and Cheats. But hey! It’s their life…

Comments?

-Tutivillus

My good friend Lucius Scribbens wrote a piece that made me think.

I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of Polyamory, but never really desired to be a participant. I enjoy my relationships when they’re simple and relatively uncluttered (3rd relationships…Primary Relationships (and their expectations) are handled differently).

In BDSM, Poly relationships seem to be extremely common while Open relationships do not.

In Swinging it’s the opposite. Although there seems to be a heavy Poly component rising in the last few years.

In the Vanilla world? Well…there’s an HBO romance with Polyamory, Swinging and BDSM. People are fascinated by alternative lifestyles (I think they secretly fantasize about such things) while the lip service provided is usually negative.

DE and I don’t do much “Swinging” any more…we’ve gotten a bit tired of that game. Our relationship is Open and we’ve even talked about the two of us and a Poly third (or fourth…etc.) The conversation kind of turned towards this:

We love many of our friends – especially the friends we have sex with and/or beat for fun. But does that make us Polyamorous? No, not really.

4-play

Since DE has a particular desire towards women pretty much all of our Solo/Single play partners are female (although DE will hook up with an occasional male). It’s likely that we’d bring a woman into our relationship as a Third/sub/slave/pet. I know (from experience) that it’s far more difficult for a woman to feel secure and comfortable in a relationship as a Third. Scribbens is right, you often hear them voice concern over getting too attached and never really “getting anywhere”.

Is this why We haven’t sought or taken in a Poly lover? Do we passively avoid this out of a desire to keep our own relationship simplified and “drama-free”?

Yes and Yes. There are a few people DE and I have had the Poly discussion about, and we could probably build something to fit if we decided to go there — but we’re not in a hurry.

It’s far more likely we’d take a sub/slave/pet and keep the relationship in that realm. I can see an arrangement like that morphing into a Polyamorous triad, and that’s likely why it’s so common in the BDSM Lifestyle.

Who knows. I’m one of the LAST people you’d ever want “Relationship Advice” from…heheh.

-Tutivillus

It’s Thursday! It’s Half-Naked Thursday!

Here’s one from both of us (now with some added foot-worship action!)

HNT foot and leg

(Photo by DarlingEvil)

People sometimes ask:

“How does a Co-Dom relationship work? Are you both Switches?”

Switches? No. In the BDSM side of our relationship I am the Alpha Dom and a Mentor. There are times, however, where I will submit to DarlingEvil. The reason?

Well…I’ll get into those later. Besides, wouldn’t you submit to her if you had a chance?

-Tutivillus

**An earlier post from another place**

captive (pic by DarlingEvil)

The negotiations officially began yesterday.

DarlingEvil found a submissive for me to dominate (physically and sexually). For those of you not following here’s the situation.

DE has a fantasy of watching me Dominate a submissive. She’s always been in this from the role of submissive, but she wants to observe. I fully admit there are certain activities I enjoy that Trix does not and there are times where I have a hard time crossing the line into full Dom mode with her, because she is my partner, lover, best friend, etc.

Yesterday, she approached someone about it. An experienced sub who is also somewhat of a pain-slut. I IM’d her last night and began the negotiations.

We agreed on a mutual trust level.
We discussed time and place.
We began running over some of what was to be done in the scene: Humiliation, bondage (light to heavy), spanking, flogging, waxing, breath-play, clamps, sensory deprivation and other activities of my choice.

I pretty much have a blank check on this one. DE sat next to me and made the suggestion that she would like to see needle play performed on both our sub and her. I agreed that would be a great idea. I’ve not done much needle play, and I know this will be particularly effective with our sub.

Other plans and ideas began to formulate in my head, of which I am putting into action now…need to do some shopping.

So, why barely legal? Well, this sub crosses the taboo line for most people I know, and to be honest, I was a little surprised when DE approached her, and a little surprised when our sub agreed.

She’s one of my ex wives.