DungeonPlace.com

My new collar shipped today from collarfactory.com.

My first collar from collarfactory.com.

I am excited! The first one I ordered from them was last year and I have been very pleased with the quality. I like being able to choose my leather  colour, hardware and add some personal flare. They also do cuffs and belts.

*de*

 Email This Post

I was asked to write about my journey to the place I now reside. I do not think of it as a journey–more like a step in a different direction. This is not a new direction, for I have been owned in the past. I was owned by the United States Navy. There were contracts, negotiations and training. During training, I was told when and how to eat, sleep and dress. I had to ask permission to use the bathroom and to get a tampon during my menses. I was taught how to move, stand, and position myself. I could not look into the eyes of my superiors and was to give them the respect earned with the title. My Training was not without its challenges. I was stubborn and did not buy into the game of breaking down and rebuilding.

In the 90′s, I realized I had some kink tendencies after becoming enthralled at a concert where fetish was abound. Latex, needles, St. Andrew’s Cross and wax over a nipple both disgusted and aroused me. I could not turn away. Yet, nothing was acted upon and just as quickly, forgotten.

It was nearly 10 years later and hands around my neck to jolt back the feeling of kink. During a sexual encounter, I was being held by my throat..breath restricted. My orgasm was strong and I noticeably became wetter. Instead of passing it by, I began to read of bdsm online. I watched porn involving women in submissive roles and longed to be in their place.I researched activities and roles. I sought out “Dom” or Alpha males and danced online. Quickly I realized that anyone can play a role behind the veil of the internet. Most came off with the attitude of ‘i am giving myself this title and you shall submit to me because if it.’ Did not fly and I played very little. I was soured by a certain experience and decided that maybe this was not for me.

Fast forward the path I find myself traveling on. Why I am on this path? Natural submission is foreign. I do not wish to serve or be without my own identity. I prefer to be in control. It is where I am most comfortable. Sometimes being comfortable restricts growth and I believe that is where I am now. To flourish and become involves change and breaking out of old habits. They do die hard and cloud visions of tomorrow.I do this by choice for personal and spiritual development. To capture a part of myself hidden away due to fears. Trust is paramount and one of my weaknesses. I must trust I will be cared for and loved.

I am still stubborn, strong and opinionated.
I will cry, scream and be defiant.

I will beg.
I will test you.

I ask to be loved and desired.
I ask to be pushed and rewarded.

I ask for patience and understanding.

And to you I give my submission.

 Email This Post

This is work. This is hard work.

I have a good friend. He has 2 girls. It is becoming routine for he and I to bounce questions, ideas, thoughts and general philosophies off of each other. In short, we’ve become a 2 man support team. He watches me, I watch him. We give each other advice and encouragement. What I’ve learned over the years (and what had held me back) was the simple fact that the D/s, D/g, BDSM relationships were not easy.

They are the most complex relationships I’ve entered into. I wouldn’t call them “difficult” (they’re only as difficult as we make them), but they are challenging. In turn they are endlessly rewarding. They aren’t a “Feast of Sex”. They aren’t a chorus of screams and torture.

I believe they are this (for all parties):

A constant journey of sacrifice, surrender, release, discovery and love.

I am pleased beyond any words I can place on these pages to be sharing this journey with my DE and my girl and all of you.

No. It’s not easy. But it sure as hell isn’t difficult.

 Email This Post

Noddy was still in subspace, but was more than happy to give support to Sis and myself.

I laid on my stomach and offered up my canvas. Tutivillus paused and stroked my naked flesh. He whispered in my ear to hold very still.

I groaned..feeling the arousing sting. It was better than I remembered.

 Email This Post

The next time was with a group and a planned activity–but aren’t those times just the best?! We were at another couple’s home with a friend and comparing bags of BDSM evil. The Doms were pulling out all the toys, implements of exquisite torture and consequently…knives.

Our friend, Noddy, was on her hands and knees when she felt the blade for the first time. Tutivillus advised her not to move. She let out a moan as he cut her down the spine.

He cut her again–this time across and then wiped her off with Clorox.

Yes..Clorox wipes open the capillaries and allow more blood to flow to the cut (plus there is a nice sting).

Noddy was surprised by her reaction and you could see the cloudiness of sub heaven come over her eyes. She said she “liked it a bit too much “.

To be continued…..

 Email This Post